Toxic People: What do they look like? Part II
Aspire Learning Space
Nov 30, 2020

Last week we spoke of the first four types of toxic people we should learn to notice early and avoid as much as possible to rid ourselves of the unnecessary burden of having to deal with them.

Today we’ll move on to the next four types and we’ll discuss each in details.

We’ll work our way today in the order from easiest to hardest to spot.

1) The Twisted

Only one advantage this type has over the others, it’s not difficult to see.
In this situation, this person does not merely dislike you, they are actively trying to hurt you or hinder you in any way, shape or form be it in passive or aggressive form.
For whatever reason, they’ve decided that, to them, you are someone they have plenty of animosity towards, and so they will do anything that would be detrimental to you.
It goes without saying that you must avoid this person at all costs, the problem is usually how. So be careful when you’re dealing with them because they might try to throw you under the bus in front of your boss, or twist your words in front of someone you trust to undermine your credibility.

2) The Temperamental

Emotions are a double-edged sword. If left untamed, they will get the better of you and can cause lots of damage to yourself and to those around you.
A temperamental person, is someone who has not practiced controlling their emotions or even filtering them.
Unlike the twisted person mentioned earlier, this individual might have a good heart. Nevertheless, someone who has lost the reigns over their emotions, is bound to hurt someone.
Whether it’s their jubilation or frustration, every emotion they experience is always in its extreme form and over the top. There’s also no knowing of how the person in question might react to a certain situation because they cannot present a cool demeanor under pressure or stress.
It is unfortunately a sign of toxicity, because to be around them, you must endure a rollercoaster of unpredictability and messiness. You have to pick up the pieces of their emotional wreckage time and time again.
They might storm off, hurt someone else’s feelings, give away something they shouldn’t have, snap at someone, break down any many other examples of what can occur when one is not in charge of one’s expression of emotions.
It can be grueling in any context, at home or in the workplace, and it’s not very simple to just avoid it. However, it’s important to recognize it, simply to know how to calculate your words and moves around that person more carefully.

3) The Judgmental

We all know them. We all have them in our lives and can’t get rid of them. The reason they might be tricky in spotting, is because we only notice once they’re talking negatively about something or someone we actually like or don’t mind.
A judgmental person often pairs this toxic trait with a certain confidence which makes for a potent combination. It allows them to always address any issue or person with confidence and try to take center stage in any discussion or argument.
Meaning at first they appear to be charismatic and maybe opinionated, but that doesn’t ring any bells or red flags.
So you have to pay attention to when they discuss things you disagree with them on, because otherwise when you’re on the same page, your bias might not allow you to see how cruel they can be on someone’s actions.
So do not be misled by their outspoken nature or confidence.

4) The Gossip

Finally, the trickiest in our list to spot, and there’s a very good reason for it. The truth? Most of us enjoy a gossip. When we’re bored at work, or hanging out with some friends and then someone starts sharing some news that wasn’t known before, everyone is naturally interested to listen and share opinions they normally would keep to themselves.
We all want to communicate and enjoy our conversations with each other, but the line between that, and between shoving ourselves into someone’s personal affairs or life.
On a professional level, if someone at the office made a mistake, the gossip would comment on it behind that person’s back every chance they get, making snarky hurtful remarks at times. Don’t join in.
It’s quite likely that you’re their next victim, so don’t give a pass on any gossip, because you never know who might be hurt at the end of that chat.

“Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

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